Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
