I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
