Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize