don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When did angry sex become our thing?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
