I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
