So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
