Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize