all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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