don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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