Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
