i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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