i think my mom watched the whole time
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
