I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
