Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
