is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
