It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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