Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm both gender and math confused
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
