I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
