It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
