In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
lets start a swedish sibling band together
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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