and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
