I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
