just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
