I got her a Nickelback box set.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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