I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
