you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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