the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
