im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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