the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
