There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
