Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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