apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize