It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is it penis luge time yet?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Randomize
