her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
