I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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