Where is the hickey?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
