Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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