We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
