Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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