we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
