I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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