Yo dont text me then not text me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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