We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
