is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
