that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize