I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
