And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
