is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
