I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize