don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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