this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
