If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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