idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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