What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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