Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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