im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
