Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
